In business, success isn’t just everything; it’s the only thing. Achieving that success can prove deadly serious and that causes stress. So to relieve some of that stress, take a short breather to recharge your humor cells and your funny bone. Don’t be surprised if you learn something in the process.
Laziness
People can be quite creative at avoiding work. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find the truth of this.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
See what I mean?
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
This sounds like something a committee would do.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
A survivalist, that one! But if someone is not at their desk…
Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?
I suppose it depends on the reading material whether or not it’s billable hours.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Oops! “May I have my paycheck now, please?”
One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.
Imagine that! I want one of those…
If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.
So much for my bright idea!
Meetings
Corporate meetings might be considered business communication training. Too bad they don’t hand out certificates at the end of each one. I’d have a closet full.
A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
And how many person-hours did it take to arrive at this pearl of wisdom?
Meetings: A practical alternative to work.
Perhaps this should’ve been under the “Laziness” heading.
Comic, Milton Berle, once said, “A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”
Instead of losing them, perhaps they should donate them to charity.
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
Perhaps they should have the one man do it, pay him six times as much, fire the others and save a bundle. Could I volunteer?
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
Enough said!
Rewards
It’s the perks that keep us motivated. And some perks are perkier than others.
Always remember to pillage before you burn!
Corporate takeovers aren’t what they used to be—Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun,…
One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.
Remember this one. There’ll be an exam afterwards.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.
Can I have my raise, now?
Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks
What could really help on the bottom line is everyone doing their best because they’ve received adequate corporate training—you know, like online training courses. Try it. You’ll like it. It won’t hurt, because e-learning is easy, at your own pace and at your own schedule. It may not be funny, but it can be loads of fun.